I wish I could write this first blog post bubbling with excitement and tell you all the wonderful things going on in my life.  But dear friend, that is just not where I am right now.  If there is one thing I want to be with you, it is honest.  So right now I am not bubbling. I am not giddy. I am not bursting with any feels.  I am simply here.

I have come to realize something: this is my waiting season.  A close friend of mine used to refer to life in seasons.  How true and comforting that notion is right now.  A season does not last – whether it be good or bad.  Changes always come.  The last eighteen months have derailed my life.  That was a crazy, busy, chaotic season.  There was a lot of change, some good and some bad. 

In July 2015, we moved to the Dominican Republic to be missionaries.  In December we found out we were expecting our third daughter.  In February we moved back to the states due to the threat of the zika virus.  In May we lost our baby at 24 weeks.  In August 2016 we moved back to the Dominican Republic.  That was a season with a lot of ups and downs, a lot of feels, and ended with a lot of pain.  Now this new season is beginning and right now what I have left from the past year…is the pain.

So here I am after a whirlwind many months – waiting. I am waiting for healing.  I am waiting to feel like myself again.  I am waiting to be less broken.  I am waiting for my confidence to be restored.  I am waiting for my brain to start working again.  I am waiting to feel more joy than sorrow within a day.  I am waiting.

Maybe, my friend, you have been in a waiting season before.  Maybe you are in a waiting season right now.  Maybe you are waiting for healing like me.  Waiting for change.  Waiting for direction.  Waiting for littles to grow, or waiting for life to slow down.  Waiting is not as exciting as doing.  There aren’t always new things to “write home about” when you are simply waiting.  Waiting may be hard, especially when you see others going or doing.  Waiting is not easy, but there is peace in the waiting season.   There is peace because we know this is only a season.  It will not last.

Right now my life is simple.  Simple is all I can manage.  There is calm in simple.   My days are filled with mundane tasks.  I wash dishes; I fold laundry; I prepare meals; I mop floors.  I am a wife and a mother, and those are the vocations I focus on.  The mundane tasks are not exciting, but I can accomplish them (most days) . Tasks that are simple and accomplishable is what I need while I wait.   I wait on Him.  This season of waiting, where it feels that I am doing the bare minimum to get by, is the season where He is doing the most.  God is working hard in this waiting season.  He is my Healer, and He is putting broken me back together.  I don’t know how long this season will be, but I trust in His timing.

I have hope that there will be a time I can write to you and share oodles of joys and squeals with you, but you will have to be patient with me.   I have hope that God our Father is restoring me.  I am content in this season.  I am content to wait.   So if you are in a waiting season with me, take heart; He is still doing mighty things in our lives while we wait.

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